Poisoned!
by ilovemyboys
Summary: After Deidara gets poisoned, Sasori needs to find him an antidote! Tobi helps! One-Shot. Rated T for Hidan's mouth.


**Poisoned!**

One-Shot

_By ilovemyboys_

**Authors Note: **This is my longest and favorite Naruto Fanfiction story I've written! Enjoy! ^_^

* * *

"All of you will become my art! Ha!" Deidara shouted at the enemy Shinobi below him as another explosion hit the ground.

"**Deidara! Quit fooling around!"**

"Sasori, my man, you're being _waaay_ too serious right now," Deidara called down with a smile to his teammate below, from his giant clay bird above.

"**Don't be overconfident brat!"** Sasori grumbled as his tail once again hit another oncoming attack. The Shinobi here really weren't much of a threat at all, given why he didn't even result in using any of his other puppets. Deidara, meanwhile, also knew they were no problem for them, as he easily dodged every attack. Quickly avoiding another Kunai at the last second, something he did on occasion when fights became a bit too boring for him, he sent out one last barrage of his small exploding birds at the enemy, taking them out instantly. Then, slowly ascending to the ground he got off, and poofed his bird out of existence.

"Well! That went well," he said, dusting off his hands.

**"Just shut up. We're going."**

The two S-ranked criminals were on their way back from a surveillance mission on the Sound Shinobi. They were getting a little too close to comfort for Leader Pein, so he ordered Sasori and Deidara to spy on their activities. They had gathered some valuable information for the Akatsuki and needed to head back and report. As Sasori and Deidara walked side by side all seemed normal the first few minutes until Deidara suddenly stopped. Sasori turned around aggravatedly.

"Keep moving brat. We haven't got all day,"he warned.

Deidara meanwhile stood in place, completely frozen, with a look of complete shock on his face. Sasori raised an eyebrow at his partner's odd behavior.

"What the hell are you doing Deidara?"

Quickly losing his balance he began to swayin place. Frankly, he looked sick.

"What, did you fly too much on that bird of yours and get seasick?"Sasori asked pointedly.

"No...Sasori...I feel…." Deidara's words were cut off as his eyes slide back into his sockets and he fell face-first into the ground.

Shocked by this new change in behavior Sasori went over to his fallen comrade and pushed him over onto his back. Placing an ear against his partner's chest Sasori listened for a heartbeat. He knew Deidara was alive, but he knew his heart rate had surely changed. Sure enough, as he listened Deidara's heartbeat was exsubstantitally low, and his breathing came in short bursts. Lifting open Deidara's eyes he noticed they were dilated. Then, holding onto his comrade's wrist, he felt for a pulse. It was a rapid one. Grumbling at this new predicament Sasori lifted the brat up in his arms and carried him toward the base.

About halfway there Deidara started to mumble unconsciously. Then slowly, cracked an eye open and looked at Sasori in confusion. _"What…happened…Sasori?"_ He asked weakly.

"You were poisoned," Sasori replied gruffly. This was something he, as a poison master, had figured out long ago. The question was what type of poison was it? He didn't have anything to test it on out here and would have to wait till he got back to base to know for sure.

_"P…poisoned? How?"_

"**By being reckless, that's what**! One of those Kunai probably scraped your shoulder when it flew by."

"_Oh…yeah…."_ Deidara murmured in realization as he closed his eyes. A minute went by until he opened them again as he looked at Sasori pleadingly.

"_So…you got something for me right?"_

"At the Akatsuki hideout."

"_Oh…okay…" _Deidara replied faintly as he fell back into unconsciousness.

The rest of the way back Deidara's symptoms grew worse as he moaned in pain at the poison coursing its way through his veins. Sasori had to get him back. And soon.

_**SASORI'S POV:**_

Upon entering the Akatsuki hideout as my idiot partner took in quick gasps of air and cringed in pain as he twisted in my arms, I knew the effects of the poison were evident. I had to get him an antidote soon.

As I made my way toward my room to do just that I heard the thumping feet of that idiot Tobi running toward us.

_Terrific._

In seconds the masked man came running up to us excitedly.

"Sasori! You've returned! Ahhh! What's happened to Deidara!" He gasped, quickly running over to Deidara's side.

"He got poisoned," I grumbled, continuing on my route.

"What! That's horrible! Sasori! What are you going to do?"

"Get him an antidote, what else," I grumbled.

_Is he really __**that **__dumb?_

"Oh yay! Tobi is so glad Sasori! *Gasp!* Tobi knows! Tobi will help Sasori help Deidara!"

"**No."**

"But Tobi can be very helpful!"

"**No."**

"But Tobi will not get in the way."

"**No." **

"But two is better than one right?"

_He's even more of a brat than Deidara. I have a good mind to take him out right now... Unfortunately that would be too noisy, and Leader Pein hates to be woken up. If Tobi did manage to dodge my tail he'll just get me even more angry. And if he didn't I'd have two poisoned brats to take care of. _

"Tobi can be useful!"

_And chances are he's just gonna keep following me anyway…I wonder if I should just let him come…_

Just then Deidara let out a pained groan as Tobi looked up at me frantically. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Come on."

…

As I walked into my room I sat Deidara down on my bed, which I never slept in anyway, and got to work on an antidote. Tobi was kneeling down next to Deidara, muttering reassurances the blonde brat obviously couldn't hear.

_Now let's see…What do I have…First I'll need a blood sample…_

Turning around to face the two brats, I said, "Tobi. You want to be useful?"

"Oh yes Sasori! Tobi wants very much to be useful!"

"Good. Then you'll help me get a blood sample."

I couldn't see it of course, but I could sense the man pale at the proposition.

"A….a blood sample?" He asked meekly.

"Yes. I can't give him an antidote unless I know exactly what I'm dealing with."

"Oh…okay…" He nodded. "What should Tobi do?"

_That fool. He better be useful…_

"Wait for now."

I turned around and got the proper supplies I needed as I heard Deidara's moans of pain in the background. Getting them all together I turned around to face Tobi.

"Alright. Hold him down."

"Um…how Sasori?"

_He's gotta be kidding, right?_

"Just place your hands on his chestand make sure he doesn't get up," I growled.

Tobi nodded as he placed his hands on Deidara's shirt. I took out a small cloth, rubbed some alcohol on it, and pressed it against his arm. Then, grabbing his wrist with one hand, I made sure Tobi was putting enough pressure on his chest so he wouldn't move around, took a blood sample with the other.

Deidara, of course, flinched at the sudden touch of the needle and tried to pull away. Luckily he didn't have much strength at all in his condition, so it was no problem. After getting the sample I brought it to my worktable and analyzed it with the most probable options as to what type of poison I was dealing with.

"Sasori? What's wrong with Dediara?" Tobi's soft voice asked worriedly.

"I already told you he's-"

"Tobi knows he's poisoned. But he's asleep. Why does he feel pain?"

_I am __**not**__ going to explain this to him. He wouldn't even be able to comprehend it. _

"He's having a fever dream," I said simply.

"A fever dream?" Tobi asked in awe.

"Yes."

_Now go away. _

"What's that Sasori?"

_Urrr…__Of course he had to ask…_

"It's dreams you get when you have a fever," I grumbled.

It was then I noticed how much Deidara was sweating.

_I guess the brat needs **some** comfort…_

"Tobi. Wet two rags and bring them here."

"Yes sir!" Tobi replied, and in an instant was out the door.

Making my way over to Deidara I noticed his soaked shirt and took it off. I had already taken off his Akatsuki cloak earlier so at least he didn't have that on. I then felt his forehead. Of course it was just as hot as before.

Suddenly Tobi came back into the room and jumped a little in surprise as he looked over at Deidara.

_It's not that big of a deal…_

I shook my head.

"Alright. Put one on his forehead and the other on his chest," I ordered.

"Yes Sasori," Tobi replied as he did as he was told.

As soon as the damp rags hit his skin his body began to relax.

"Tobi thinks that helped, Sasori!"

"Yes. It did. Now be quiet."

"Yes Sasori!"

…

I only had to make one more conclusion before I gave him the antidote. His breathing at least wasn't at hitched as it was before. I had Tobi bring a bucket of cold water out here too as Deidara was quickly burning up the wet rags.

…..

I found an antidote. Measuring the right amount of the substance into a needle, I turned around to face Tobi.

"Alright Tobi. Hold him down again."

As we did the same thing as before I applied the antidote to his other arm. He hardly resisted at all this time as I administered the antidote, and sat down on my chair.

"Um..Sasori? "Tobi asked shyly.

"What?" I snapped.

"Tobi thinks…Tobi thinks…

"Well get on with it!"

"Tobi thinks you are wonderful Sasori!"

_**What?**_

**"Shut up Tobi."**

"But Tobi thinks you are a hero Sasori! Tobi must tell the world!"

**"Tell anyone and I'll make you into one of my puppets! Now get out!"**

Tobi made a quick "eep!" as he ran out the door.

_Finally that nuisance is gone._

I let my eyes wander over to Deidara, now resting peacefully. Noticing a strand of hair covering one of his eyes I absentmindedly moved it away.

_Damn brat. _

**Knock, knock. **

_**That better not be Tobi or I'll- **_

"Sasori. Can I come in?" The deep voice of our Leader asked calmly from behind the door.

_Wait. He __**asked?**_

"Of course Leader," I replied.

He opened the door slowly and shut it behind him as he came in and walked quietly towards Deidara. His eyes looked down at him.

"Has the antidote taken full effect?" He asked in that calm manner of his. Although his eyes were looking in Deidara's direction, he was staring at nothing in particular.

"Yes. He should be fine by the morning," I answered.

"Good." He turned to look at me with that deadpan gaze of his.

"I will need the both of you to go out again in a few days for a new mission."

"Yes Leader."

He nodded. And with that, left.

_A man of few words. Unlike my partner._

I looked over at the clock by my bed.

_4:30._

_Damn it Deidara. _

I was about to go into my bed to get _some _sleep when I saw him lying there. Mentally kicking myself I went into the living room and slept on the couch.

**NEXT DAY: **_DEIDARA'S POV:_

_Oh man…What's this pain?_

Slowly sitting up I held onto my throbbing head.

"Damn it…what happened…"

Blinking away the morning blurriness in my eyes, I waited for them to adjust, and instantly knew something was off. Taking a good look around it finally clicked.

_What the hell am I doing in Sasori's room?_

Quickly turning to my side, I breathed out a sigh of relief at not finding him lying next to me.

_He's my partner and all but that's just messed up. I don't need any creepy freaks in my life…_

I suddenly felt something start to come up from my throat, and in seconds was running toward the nearest bathroom and emptying out any contents I had. After about five minutes of _that _fun, I stood up a bit too quickly, felt dizzy, and had to hold onto the sink to keep from face-planting on the floor. When I could stand up without feeling dizzy I made my way over to the kitchen and got some coffee.

It actually felt pretty peaceful here. Everyone's sleeping, Hidan's not swearing, and me and Sasori aren't arguing. It's actually…nice-

"So. You're up." Pein's voice broke the peaceful silence as I spun around, nearly spilling my coffee as I saw him suddenly standing right next to me, holding a cup of tea.

"Yeah..." I mumbled.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap..." My eyes shot open as I suddenly realized what I said so casually to the leader of the Akatsuki.

_Shit._

"That is expected…" he spoke dryly, taking a sip from his tea. "Don't move around too much. You're still recovering and I need you for a mission in a few days."

"Yes sir…" I nodded.

He then gave me a slight nod and walked away. As soon as he left the room I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

_Damn! He always puts me on edge!_

_NARRATOR'S POV:_

The sound of the swearing Jashinist thumping down the stairs of the Akatsuki hideout could be heard by anyone with ears. He couldn't care less it was only eight in the morning. No one could hurt him. At least…no one could hurt him and have it actually not be _fun _for him. Grinning to himself he shouted, "Happy fucking morning everyone!"

Deidara, being in the only one in the kitchen, cringed at hearing the foul-mouthed Jashinist come down the stairs toward him.

"Hey! Deidara! Good morning!"

"Whatever. Morning Hidan…" he grumbled.

"What the hell Blondie! I try to be nice and you don't even give me a fucking "_good _morning?"

"What are you talking about Hidan," he rolled my eyes. "It's not like you're known for being the kindest of us all."

"Haha. You got that right!" He said, throwing himself onto a chair, on the opposite side of Deidara.

"**Hidan…"** Kakuzu growled dangerously from the doorway with a murderous look in his eyes.

_Huh! Glad I didn't get him mad…_Deidara thought.

"What do you want Kakuzu?" Hidan replied with a complete lack of disrespect.

"**What the hell are you trying to pull this early?"**Kakuzu demanded.

"Awww…come on Kakuzu! Just some morning cheer!"

"**I'll tell you what gives me cheer…seeing that loud-mouthed head of yours on that sacrificial scythe you carry around everywhere."**

"Kakuzu! Come on! That's not very friendly…" Hidan smirked as he laid back in his chair.

"**Do I look like I care?"**

"Ts! No. You don't care about anything but that damn money of yours!"

"**Shut up Hidan. Before I make you shut up."**

"Oh yeah? You can talk tough but you don't scare me Kakuzu! You can't even hurt me…" he added in a low voice.

"**Oh I can't, can't I?" **Kakuzu growled in a low voice.

Deidara scooted a seat away. He was _not _going to come in between this.

"No you fucking retard! In case you hadn't noticed I can't die!"

"I don't need to kill you to make you suffer Hidan..." Kakuzu spoke quietly.

"Oh yeah? What do you think you can possibly do to me! Huh?"

A smile crept on Kakuzu's face. Hidan's malicious look broke off instantly as he scowled at his partner.

"What the hell are you smiling at Kakuzu?"

"Just the thought of you trying to do your next ritual…"

"My next ritu-? What, have you gone completely insane? What the hell are you talking about!"

"Nothing…Nothing at all…" Kakuzu replied as he walked away.

"Ts! Fucking weirdo…whatever..." Hidan muttered to himself.

Within seconds Hidan began to get antsy. And before ten seconds went by he rose up off his chair and ran towards his room.

Silence only lasted a few seconds, until...

"**KAKUZU! WHERE THE HELL IS MY SCYTHE!"**

…..

Deidara nearly choked on his coffee as he laughed. Hidan stormed out of his room and banged on Kakuzu's door.

"Where the hell is my scythe you fucking ass!"

"Do you honestly think I'll tell you with _that _tone Hidan?"

"Shut the fuck up! I'll talk however I want!"

"Then you won't be getting anything from me."

"Shut up!"

Deidara could hear Hidan kick at Kakuzu's door with no result. Knowing Kakuzu, Deidara thought he probably put a Jutsu on it as well so Hidan couldn't get in.

"Kakuzu, I'm not kidding!"

"**Neither am I."**

"UrrrAHHHH!" Hidan stormed away from the door, his face in fuming as he went back to his room and started tearing it apart as he searched for his precious scythe.

"I see you have entertainment in the morning," Sasori's voice growled from behind Deidara. Quickly turning around he noticed Sasori glaring at Hidan as he began tearing apart the living room.

"Yeah…" he grinned. "You're missing out Sasori…"

"No. I'm not."

Sasori got himself some coffee and sat down beside Deidara. The two sat in silence. For once. Both trying, and failing, to ignore the shouts and threats of Hidan that could be heard throughout the base. Luckily Itachi and Kisame were on a mission, as was Zetsu and Tobi, otherwise Itachi would have tsukuyomied Hidan in an instant. As for Pein and Konan... well…they have a way of ignoring anything they wanted. And could choose to sleep through it all as well.

"So how are you feeling today brat?" Sasori muttered.

Deidara's attention went from Hidan to Sasori. "Um…better…Still not quite myself but at least I don't feel like I'm dying…"

Sasori chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"You. That wasn't even close to the worst poisonous death you could have had. You're lucky I was there or you'd have endured it for three days before you died."

Deidara gulped.

"Well uh…thanks…Sasori…" Deidara spoke a bit uncomfortably.

"Whatever brat…"

After that, the two argued art as Hidan's shouting continued.

"Kakuzu! WHERE THE HELL IS MY ROSARY!"

**THE END!**

**Authors Note: **Thank you all for reading! This was my favorite Naruto Fanfiction I wrote, and in my opinion, the best one I've written! I just wanted to have Sasori and Deidara fluff at the end! But now I wanna write a One-Shot continuation of Hidan looking for his Scythe and Rosary! ^_^


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